I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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