Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
