I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
