just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize
