I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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