I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
