Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
