About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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