i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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