I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
