I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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