I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
