I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
