Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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