puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
