you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
