You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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