I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
