Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
