as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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