i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize