my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
