OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Randomize