Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
