how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
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