you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
