I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
