We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Someone signed my nipple.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
