How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
