I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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