I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
