just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
