I think I am morally bankrupt
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
