on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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