onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
