i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
