Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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