it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize