I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
