It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
