I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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