I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
