oh god the rape fog is back!
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
