Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
