And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
