I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Randomize
