I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
