I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
