no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
