Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
And then the night went full on bisexual.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
