Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
