hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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