Betty ford says i'm here all night
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
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