Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
