You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
