Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
