im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize