Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
