shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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