i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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